Extra Credit- I HATE Twilight

First let me say that I read all of the books, it was intolerable after the first chapter but I have to finish what I start, even if it kills me! Also, I don't want to offend anyone, so this is just my opinon. This is very, very long.


Dictionary:Mary Sue:A female fiction character who is so perfect as to be annoying. The male equivlalent is the Marty-Stu. Often abbreviated to "Sue". A Mary Sue character is usually written by a beginning author. Often, the Mary Sue is a self-insert with a few "improvements" (ex. better body, more popular, etc). The Mary Sue character is almost always beautiful, smart, etc... In short, she is the "perfect" girl. The Mary Sue usually falls in love with the author's favorite character(s) and winds up upstaging all of the other characters in the book/series/universe. There are several main types of Mary Sue: Victim!SuesBELLA) The Victim!Sue is your whiny, wimpy, pathetic female character who can't seem to do much of anything except cry and get herself into trouble that the romantic interest of the fic has to rescue her from. Warrior!Sues: The Warrior!Sue is usually loud, obnoxious and (of course) an amazing warrior. She'll usually have some tragic past that led her to become a warrior, and she'll upstage all of the Canonical characters with her mad Sueish powerz. Mage!Sue: Similar to the Warrior!Sue, the Mage!Sue has amazing stregnth in magic, or has a magical power that nobody else has. She'll usually wind up upstaging all of the magical characters of the series. Punk!Sue: Also called Noncomformist!Sue or Goth!Sue, the Punk!Sue is usually written by female beginners in the 11-15 age group. The Punk!Sue is loud, obnoxious, annoying and generally the type of person who you'd want to send off to boot camp for six months. The Punk!Sue almost always has angst coming out of her ears and isn't really a bad person, she's just oh!-so-angry at whatever tragic past the author has chosen to give her. The Punk!Sue is based on what the 11-15 year old author thinks is "cool" and wishes she could be. This includes Evil!Sues. Misfit!Sue: This includes all Sues who are supposedly geeks, nerds, misfits, etc. Usually, the Misfit!Sue doesn't start out as inhumanly beautiful, but winds up getting a makeover and finding out she had the potential to be a guy-magnet (or girl-magnet, depending on the genre) all along. Also includes the "My parents want me to do this but I want to do that and it's not fair!!one!" type of Sue. Usually, this Sue is very bookish and smart, but will find some sort of physical talent nobody expected and become a star as a result. Another thing to note is that a Sue will usually have a completely off-the-wall name, like "Viquetoria". The more wierd and pretentious the name of the character, the more likely it is that she's a Sue.

Marty Stu/ Gary Stu:The male counter part of what I wrote above.

The Evidence:Miss Meyer has admitted that she "fell in love" with the character of Edward (GARY STU) when she wrote him. Many writers discuss their characters like this, but few single out their protagonist's love interest for the honor.Bella(MARY SUE) has a very magical, Mary-Sue-like name. "Bella Swan." She's allegedly perfectly ordinary in every way, to the point of absolute tedium, but somehow when she moves to a new area, instead of becoming a true outcast, she is instead fawned over by every guy in the school. And she can't be bothered with it. "Ho, hum, yeah, you can have my leftovers. How droll."Bella has precisely one flaw: she's clumsy. Wow. That's absolutely *classic*. Her only character flaw is that she's endearingly oaf-like? That's it? And it makes her even more *adorable*?So, this perfecly ordinary girl from an only moderately poor home life who is just bored with her social life captures the attention of the world's most perfect guy. He's so perfect that he SPARKLES. Literally. He sparkles. Most vampires blow up, or burn or turn to bats when the enter sunlight, who the HELL would think to make them sparkle? Maybe in the moon, MAYBE, but in the sun? Thats like making a vampire who doesn't drink blood! Oh, well actually...Anywyas, he is so F*ing classic. He's strong, and handsome, and brooding, and intelligent, and INTERESTING because he's secretly a sexy vampire with a really cool vampire family. He's so in love with Bella for no good reason that they can't sleep together lest he lose control of himself. He's "mysteriously drawn" to her. And he wants to protect her. And take her away from all this. And she gets swept into a magical world that she never could have ever imagined.The only way this chick could be a bigger Mary Sue is if she had violet eyes and the power to talk to animals. This isn't the plot of a best-selling novel. This is the kind of story that middle-school girls tell themselves when they fantasize. The kind of shit you wrote in your diary at age 13 about the amazing adventures that you have in your head. Except it's not you, it's sort of a better you, more interesting, more perfect, more beautiful, more popular. "And everyone loves me even this really mysterious secret beautiful VAMPIRE who can't resist me!"This has been a ridiculous rant, but I can't believe this piece of adolescent tripe has made it into print, much less grown to its current frenzied height of popularity. It is vile. You know a book should have been left in the slush pile when its Fanfic is indistinguishable from its canon.